My Need to Pee

A true story written, and edited by K. Foyt

I dedicate this story to spell check

I was lying down on the guest room bed. I had just pressed the awesome little button on the side of the lamp nailed above the bed post. Since my grandma was the most frequent user of our magnificent guest room everything was very elegant. The walls were painted yellow and had a creamy white molding. The walls were lined with clocks. Mostly porcelain with flowery paintings next to each Roman numeral.
I was now lying across the bed (and not under the covers) with my legs resting on top of two pillows. I was reading the book Weird Stuff by Richard Tulloch. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a good laugh.
All of a sudden this rushing pain rushes through my body. I putt it off as long as possible because I was reading deeper, and deeper into to my book it was drawing me in no sucking me. The soccer coach just called Kelvin a sniveling smear of snail snot.
But the urge grows undeniable. I leap off the bed and twist he brass knob connecting the guest room to the bathroom. Locked! I assume that I forgot to unlock it last time I took a shower (which could have been years ago.)
I race around the hall to the bathrooms other entrance faster than last field day. I slam open the door so hard if probably left a dent in the wall. With the same strength I slammed open the toilet lid. I made it! I sigh and look up at the bathroom ceiling. There’s a brownish stain from leaky water, or was it something else? Suddenly I break into a laughing fit, not because of the stain because of what just happed. If you think about it, it was hilarious. I decide it would be a great story for the creative writing story I owed Sarah my L.A. teacher. I get up and do that same ritual everyone else does when leaving the toilet.
I turn toward the door to unlock it and hopefully prevent this from happening again. Here’s what I see: A hugemunges, muscley, brown alien with 2 antennas poking from his head. He is holding the brass knob and looks like he’s about to crush it. He had muscles growing from his eyeballs, he had muscles growing from his eyeballs muscles! Well to make a long story short he ate me and Sarah was mad because I never turned in my creative writing paper.